Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Inebriates Confession

Please, please, please bring me to my knees one day, one day, one day I’ll be able to do it to do it to sing to be it to just be one with who I am and what I want to be so beautifully so beautifully so blissfully this, this right here this feeling this right what I need I bleed I need it just like this right now right here please Lord, please Lord, cut the cord, cut that cord that prevents me from being who I am and want to be why can’t I do it why can’t I why can’t eye why can’t ….. I don’t want it to be easy I want it to be me, I want to always feel like this, like an eternal union, eternal, eternal union this beat it brings it brings me bopr ttat head bop it bop it bop it … see where it takes you ….. intense intense wna dthen not so./.. the end.

Melodious machinery why can’t I be like you and just operate according to a players notes…. Why can’t I just bleat out sonorous song with the presence it brings without having to compose it all. Must be an instrument that feels the music it creates. I am but a fool who dreams of the impossible with reality beckoning to him but he ignores it into an imitative scene of breakings.

Convulsing, convulsing with the beat can you help it? They go, they, they go on, on and on without your permission… if It stopped you’d miss it…. I try to stop the beat but its passion weighs me, it weighs me, it weighs me up and down it takes me where I need to go but never want to be, in a moment it flows out on pages with wages of time to tell. To sell, to be with bell of all that’s wrong. Its siren is hiring those that want to bash it your skill if they they don t fnont fine you are they’re your own. Expectations hope who are you are you there? Magic boy? Just like the mold they create just like that clone they satiate. Go ahead delete your words as they come, they’re yours you can’t help it you know. They all wanna know as you as you sway and flow.

Pervasive tone …….one direction or another …. You have no brothers. It’s just you, you are all alone. No father no brother no one to see you as you are to relate to you on your own plane just to keep you sane to take you under their wing to help you sing to chirp out those tunes just like all the other loons. You, you are your own father, your own brother but what good are you? Especially when you can’t help but be blue? You antisocial pent up special you. You lust for love to bury yourself in but where has it gotten you. You sell yourself for some other girl some other twirl just to twist your mind and it’s not you and it’s not who you want to be. It’s just a touch, that girl on the train but you can’t help it but be more … you bury your head in your sages book in your tiny nook in your corner in your brain solace from what’s around you what confounds you what surrounds you and wants to be you. I’m a beast a beast a sacred beast that’s not too sacred crying out from inside to be a man yet looks like one. Fill your mind. Fill it up.